tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62837532011-04-21T20:01:32.165-07:00Vandelay Industries Inc.An examination of the inane, vapid, daffy, vacous, absurd and profound...oh, we also sell latex products.
"The best damn latex gloves I've ever had the pleasure of sticking my hands into"- Dr. Tim Watley (DDS)Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comBlogger171100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1089150898971018132004-07-06T14:28:00.000-07:002004-07-06T15:16:57.620-07:00Yes, I know you're likely awaiting the next installment of the "Shock Wedding" (I know Mrs. Vandelay would love for me to reveal the true nature of our marriage and dispel the illusion that I am an unromantic bozo who married for the dental benefits), but you'll just have to wait a few days until my hand heals.
Feel lucky that I have no digital camera at home or you would be able to see the two Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1087265788119487392004-06-14T18:46:00.000-07:002004-06-14T19:16:28.120-07:00After nearly 3 weeks away from home, Mrs. Vandelay is finally back. This is a good thing as our anniversary is coming up real soon. In fact, as you are celebrating the first day of summer (the first day of winter for you unfortunate folks in the southern hemisphere) we will be toasting another year in the books. So, as you dance naked around the Wicker Man or whatever other pagan ritual you feignVandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1085632907838430262004-05-26T21:05:00.000-07:002004-05-26T21:41:47.836-07:00Hey Kids!
Old Art checking in to give you the latest update on the goings on here at Vandelay Industries.
It seems like the only time I actually have time to update this thing is when Mrs. Vandelay is away. "Well, where is she?" I hear you asking. Again, she is in Vancouver updating her dope skills in the Immigration game. That's right, the last time she was over there she was learning to hurt Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1084756593164888092004-05-16T18:09:00.000-07:002004-05-16T18:16:33.163-07:00A random correspondence (by snail-mail no less) between myself and long-time friend and latex consumer, Baron PA Choquette:
Baron Choquette,
I write to you with a constant pounding in my brain that makes thinking quite impossible, as I'm sure you can tell. My mind harkens back to those halcyon days when one could easily spend an entire day in on-pseudo-ice-fisticuffs and still manage to spew Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1083395380767025162004-04-30T23:46:00.000-07:002004-05-04T17:08:41.670-07:00Well Kids,
It's another beautiful day here in the Capital City, which reminds me of that great Simpsons episode. However, my capital city is a bit damp today with drizzle, although I still made it downtown to have coffee with a friend.
I guess most of you bloggers have heard of, or have even signed up with, Google's gmail. Old Art signed up today and the Gig of storage seems like a lot now, butVandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1083207647587637562004-04-28T19:38:00.000-07:002004-04-28T20:10:03.216-07:00Hey kids!
Big news- Mrs. Vandelay is in Vancouver for a week learning how to hurt/kill people while leaving no marks or evidence. Excellent talent to possess. Seriously, she is undergoing training on how to subdue people and incapacitate them. It's part of her job, which I likely shouldn't tell you too much about as it would likely get me in trouble with the government -- not to mention Mrs. Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1082836110451243552004-04-24T12:26:00.000-07:002004-04-24T12:54:19.780-07:00Today's post is, mainly, for my good friend and former co-worker Bobbie. It is a "Honku" and it seems Bobbie has a lot more opportunities to write them than I do. I guess maybe road-rage just comes naturally to her. In case you've been living in the cardboard box a fridge comes in, a Honku is like a Japanese, Haiku poem (3 lines; 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables) only with the subject matterVandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1082764226617232082004-04-23T16:34:00.000-07:002004-04-24T12:57:27.733-07:00Hey Kids!
I'm here today with 2 quick recommendations for you young hipsters:
1. Vespa Canada has opened a new website and are importing Vespa scooter again in the Great White North. Right now, the only distributor is in Toronto and God knows why you'd go to a city that only has 4 guaranteed snow-free months a year for a scoot, but there you go. As a hard-core scooter-rider, I say the more Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1082657597551931162004-04-22T10:54:00.000-07:002004-04-24T13:00:53.420-07:00Well kids,
Art had a retro experience last night. That's right, old Art went to a Rock and Roll show!
Now, you may be asking yourselves, "what kind of show would Art attend- I didn't know that Loverboy were on tour again".
First, I don't think Loverboy have ever stopped touring and second, I didn't like those guys very much back in the 80s when I was young.
Second, Art still likes to rock. Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1082078160288214092004-04-15T17:35:00.000-07:002004-04-15T18:29:04.216-07:00OK,
Here it is, as promised. Second post of the day, and this one is for the kids.
Hey Kids!
Now, some of you may be asking yourselves, "I wonder how old that Art is?"; or, "He certainly recommends a lot of old stuff that I really can't get into".
Well my age-deficient droogs, let me fill your head with some wonderful brain-candy that even the most jaded generation whatevers will amaze at.
Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1082064080175733252004-04-15T13:53:00.000-07:002004-04-15T14:25:18.390-07:00Greetings all,
Today's post will be divided up into two installments as things are a bit hectic here at Vandelay Industries. It looks the fucking Somme circa 1916 around the building. Let me explain:
Mrs. Vandelay and I bought into a condo a few years back. Now it seems a few of the units in certain areas of the building, that see a lot a wind and rain, have leaky condo syndrome. While this Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1080854419750039262004-04-01T13:15:00.000-08:002004-04-01T13:26:18.153-08:00OK,
I know how long it's been since I made a post to this site, but believe me, I have no good excuse.
With that out of the way, I'll say that I will post a serious update tomorrow regarding the state of affairs at Vandelay Industries. Let me just say that, while I cannot give out the chemical formula for latex, there are some huge changes in the way Vandelay's going to operate. Art likes his Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1075402654279966112004-01-29T10:43:00.000-08:002004-01-30T07:30:29.216-08:00Many people have requested to read the transcript of my correspondence with one of the spammers who have been sending out emails asking for banking assistance in return for millions of dollars. So, in lieu of an actual post, here you go:
The original email (you might have actually received one exactly the same as this). Note that he uses all CAPITALS so it's like he's screaming this...
ATTN: Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1074378084420895972004-01-17T13:51:00.000-08:002004-01-17T14:26:12.700-08:00As I write this post, Mrs. Vandelay is stuck in the Toronto Airport for an hour catching her connecting flight to Vancouver and eventually Victoria, eventually weaving her way back into the bosom of her family (me and three cats).
Music: Check out this great singer/songwriter- Lhasa. Lhasa de Sela was born in the tiny village of Big Indian in upstate New York. Her father is a university Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1074135410417509772004-01-14T18:38:00.000-08:002004-01-15T17:35:49.920-08:00Now, you may ask, where is Art? It's been nearly a week without a post and we're getting worried about the lad. Is he working too hard on hawking latex? Has he slipped in the tub and cracked his skull in? Or has he simply just given up on the whole altruistic thing, endowing us with tidbits of advice?
The truth is as far from reality than you could ever believe! My whole reason for this blog is Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1073618151467266322004-01-08T18:46:00.000-08:002004-01-08T19:55:19.303-08:00Well,
Mrs. Vandelay has been away for a little over a week now and it's been pretty hard on both of us. The really difficult thing is that Halifax is about as far away from Victoria as is possible in this country (6185km) so there's not a lot of opportunity to visit each other.
Needless to say, there's been no need for any Vandelay latex products in this household for a while.
OK, in my last Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283753.post-1073443644670269212004-01-06T18:23:00.000-08:002004-01-06T18:48:54.476-08:00OK, here's the deal: this blog is not for your pleasure; it's not for you to glean insight into my life and it's certainly not a gigantic world-wide-web-whine.
What it is, is an attempt to chart my decent into madness, or it may just be a way to avoid said madness- only time will tell.
But, to avoid pissing people off with my rants about how my wife of 5 years has moved to Halifax, Nova Scotia Vandelay Industrieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09895296364983712979noreply@blogger.com